Ever look at an item in your closet and think, “I’m over it. This doesn’t fit right. Why is this in my closet?” That’s what I thought when I pulled this Little black bodycon dress from my closet. Then, I mistakenly put it on backward! OMG! How did I not realize this would be better? Sometimes, it take a mistake to point you in the right direction.
OK, this is not a motivational post . . . but for real, making a mistake can mistakenly point you in the right direction. This dress was always iffy to me. I purchased it because of the key-hole in the back. But, due to my lack of boobs and chunky arms, the keyhole always fit weird. Turning it around gave me amazing sex appeal with a stylish edge. See, try another direction, me lead you to the right spot!
Y’all should know how much I love bodycon dresses, so it should be know surprise that I have about 50-11 of them. This one was my least favorite, but now, it’s moved up to the top of the list. Just goes to show that sometimes, you gotta try a little harder to make magic happen. Everything doesn’t come easy, but it will come in due time!
I’m not successful and I know why! And you’re not successful either, so let’s talk about it. I’ve been a blogger for NINE years, NINE! You’d think, within two years, I should be riding high on that sweet delicious blog money! I should have all the high-dollar collabs, photos popping, getting sent out to amazing destinations, and not giving the sad face to my skeptical bank account. But, in my new quest to get ONE MILLION FOLLOWERS I realized my behaviors have definitely stopped me from being farther in the game than I should be. And, because I want to help you do better in your endeavors, I thought I’d bring you along for the ride. Here’s the FIVE reasons why I’m not successful:
Before we get this profile started, I must say “Thank You!” to everyone who viewed, shared, and commented on the #NashvilleCurves campaign! Each woman shared an amazing part of themselves. Besides putting on a bathing suit, they shared parts of their struggle and parts of their hearts. I truly appreciate their transparency! Make sure to read about Kimmy, Nora, Kearsten, and DD; leave some comments on their posts.
So, I’m gonna answer some of the questions I asked the other ladies in their profiles. And, I’m gonna answer some questions I’ve received about the #NashvilleCurves campaign and our upcoming Plus-Size Meet-Up! Let’s go!
I’m a lifestyle blogger and social media manager. I made a decision to leave my corporate job, after 10 years, because it was no longer fulfilling. Check out my YouTube video, “I Quit My Job to be a Full-Time Blogger“, I talk ALL about it. Blogging appeals to me because I love to write. I’ve been a writer since I knew what words meant. I write all the time, and I’m even working on a book of fiction (Jack and Ahlia) due out late fall. As a lifestyle blogger, I get to share my LIFE and my STYLE with my wonderful audience. Being plus-sized still presents a challenge for so many women. I like to show women how to dress well and be comfortable because I know what it feels like NOT to be comfortable in your own skin.
What made you embrace your curves? When did you say, “I’m ok with me?”
I can’t pinpoint the time I decided to embrace my curves. I can say as I got out of my twenties, I started to be OK with the body I have. Whether I’m on my fitness kick or I’m just chilling, I need to appreciate my body. I’ve had times when I was sick, going to hospital visits, having surgery, and I regretted not loving my body. The older I get, the more I love my body. Body confidence is truly a journey and some start earlier than others. I hope my blog can help people get on the path to body acceptance.
Have you had to deal with mean or backhanded comments from family, friends, and/or strangers? What did you do?
YES! I’ve dealt with a variety of horrible comments from strangers, WHOLE discussions from well-meaning family members, and shady comments from ‘friends’. We tend to think we know what’s best for other people, because we are on the outside looking in to their lives. So, when you go to comment on someone’s lifestyle choice, you really need to chill. You don’t know how far they’ve come.
Dealing with judgmental and mean comments is HARD! Like, if I really concentrate on ALL the mean comments I’ve received in my 39 years, I would be in a DEEP depression (I’ve been there!). What do I do? If I see a mean comment about me on the internet, I immediately delete it. I usually don’t know that person, so there’s no value in their comments. Now, dealing with family and friends is another story. Because I’m non-confrontational and an introvert, I usually distance myself from that person. After I gather my thoughts, maybe cry a bit, I usually confront them. It’s hard. I’ve lost some relationships because of nasty comments and underhanded discussions. But, I must do what’s right for my mental well-being.
Hola Fab Family! Welcome! Stretch out and walk around; do you see anything you like? Why, yes, yes we do have a new site design! And is it FABULOUS! The whole experience is a metaphor in how my life is going right now: DO IT, DO IT AFRAID, You’ll be ok! So this week’s MY STYLE post is all about how, even with fear you can do something fab!
For the last year I have been lamenting on how to make FABGLANCE.COM more fabulous. Truth be told, my coins are limited and all the great web designers I called, wanted BIG BUCKS (no whammies). I tried to redo the design on my own, but my mind would freeze. I didn’t have the patience to take eight years worth of content to a new spot. If you blog, you know that migrating content is a coin toss. You could lose EVERYTHING, jack up your analytics, and/or end up killing everyone around you.
You guys already know how much I LOVE the Frist Museum. Last month, I shot some amazing looks using the Frist as a backdrop for my stories. This month, I was happy to be invited to a ‘Girls Night Out’ event sponsored by Urbaanite. We had exclusive access to two of the museum’s most amazing exhibits: The Irving Penn Photography exhibit and the Secrets of Buddhist Art. I love going to one of my favorite place with some of my favorite people.
You know I love working with local bloggers. Nashville’s lifestyle and fashion blogging scene has grown immensely. Each of us has something special to offer our readers. Click the links above to visit some of Nashville’s newest & brightest bloggers. Just like your local museum, you have to visit our blogs regularly because we always have something new to share with you. Also, just like a museum, we are introducing our visitors to things that will help you feel amazing about the beauty of the world.
When we arrived at the Frist we were greeted by the museum’s marketing director. Not only did she inform us about the museum’s current exhibits, she gave us information about the design of the building. The Frist center is one of my favorite building in the city. The renovated post office offers amazing architecture and open space great for rotating new exhibits. After our info session we headed to the exhibits starting with Irving Penn: Beyond Beauty.
If you don’t know who Irving Penn is take a visit to the Irving Penn Foundation website. Irving Penn was one of the most prolific photographers of our generation. His photography is some of the most amazing work I’ve seen and spans across so many genres. The exhibit is arranged in reverse chronological order so that you can ‘peel back the layers of Penn’s photographic experience’ – source. I was familiar with Penn’s work from Vogue Magazine but not some of his early work. His catalogue is filled with surrealist imagery and fashion forward innovative imagery.
The Irving Penn exhibit is at the Frist until May 27. You should make your way to see these amazing images. You’ll be impressed with the fashion images but be deeply moved by his early work featuring every day people. The exhibit is a great conversation starter as it takes almost one hour to get through.
Of course I had to wear something cute for this Girls Night Out. I brought back my favorite skirt from the holiday season, added a simple white button-down to remix it for Spring. Visiting the museum is a great way to spend time with your friends. We ended the night at the Frist museum’s cafe. Ladies, they have WINE and some of the best small bites in the city. If you want to have a chill night on the town, check out the Frist.
And if you REALLY want to go, scroll down to see a special offer from Fabglance and Urbaanite. We’ve partnered with the Frist museum to give you and a friend a FREE visit to the museum!
According to the internet, it’s National Picnic Day! I don’t know who comes up with these fun social celebrations, but I’m always happy for a reason to celebrate (and take pictures!). When I received an invitation to an impromptu picnic from my blogger friend, Malia of Lia Went Where, I was so happy to attend. Malia is the ULTIMATE food blogger and knows all the tasty (and FAB) places to eat. When I saw the invite list, I knew we were in for a good time. What a way to celebrate National Picnic Day, than with blogger friends, let’s get into it!
Ok, can I talk about this spread? I love making a meal out of ‘light-bites’. Fancy dip, tasty cheeses, elegant crackers, and a fun drink, makes for a lovely outdoor picnic. Every blogger brought something tasty to share; I made a homemade lemon pound-cake! Listen, when you work from home, you got time to tap into your kitchen creating skills!
Now, I’m not a big drinker, but Malia’s Bourbon Fruit Punch is something I’d serve any day! This refreshing mixed drink packed a delightful punch (lol) and loosened us up to talk about the ups-and-downs of blogging. And, anything served with a fancy straw in a fancy glass is something you need to drink immediately! It was the perfect edition to a cute picnic.
When bloggers get together, inevitably we talk about blogging. As bloggers of color, we love to collaborate. During out National Picnic Day outing we talked about ‘blogging while brown’, how to increase engagement, when blogging isn’t fun anymore, and working together more often. It’s great to be able to talk to people who do what you do and understand the challenges. Lia, Alicia, Kay Elle, Tomiko and I will definitely create again. We are thinking of bringing you an even bigger & better picnic style event (stay tuned).
Next time you have the time, grab your buddies and do an impromptu picnic. It doesn’t have to be National Picnic Day, it can be any day. Take some time out of your week to spend time with your ladies, have some girl time, and enjoy nature. I know you will enjoy it.
Let’s face it, everyone isn’t on social media, everyone doesn’t read all the blog posts, and everyone isn’t available all the time! Sometimes you miss out. As a blogger, it’s my job to be up to date the latest & greatest. For you, it may not be that important. That’s why I decided to develop the Fab Glance Newsletter!
Every week, I’ll drop an amazing newsletter in your email that will give you updates about the blog, shopping deals from my partners (this week I’m partnering with Limonada Couture), motivation, and style tips! Actually, you’ll get a taste of Fab Glance online, with a little bit more of Melissa in your life.
So, sign-up for the newsletter, I promise not to fill your email with unnecessary stuff – I’ll keep it fun and FAB!
If you are a regular reader and you follow me on social media, you know that blogging is my side-hustle. Yes, I know it seems like I’m always blogging, or hosting a class, taking photos, or attending an event. But y’all, I really have a FULL-TIME corporate job! Many days I have to dress for a 12hr day. I may not get back to my house until 9pm because I’ve been out networking and blogging. I have to craft looks that can go from night to day, like the look above. Let’s get into how I work day & night to achieve my dream:
First, let’s get into dressing professionally as a plus-size woman. It’s tough. Actually, for most women it’s tough. For one, most women are the same size from top-to-bottom. But, we are taught to buy suits for professional occasions. I say, FORGET THAT!
I’m a fan of separates. Easily, there’s a two size difference between my top and bottom. I like to purchase skirts, pants, and blazers that can be easily interchanged with one another. In addition, I’m a big fan of DRESSES in the office. Dresses are easy to wear, usually don’t need alot of accessories, and can go from day-to-night. Don’t forget to stock up on cami’s! Those little tank tops are life savers especially if you live in a warm climate.
I keep my professional looks super simple. I buy pieces in primary colors, and get fancy with the accessories. My professional dress code is all about EASY separates that MATCH each other so I can get out the house and be at the desk on time. My favorite spots to buy work clothes: Macy’s, JCPenney, Torrid, and Lane Bryant.
So, why do I do so much blog-adjacent stuff if I have a full-time job? Well, my full-time job is not my passion. At one time I used to love my day job, but no more. So what’s my plan to move forward? NETWORKING! I’m networking my way into a new life while making my current life work in my favor. So if that means:
Dressing for the job I want, not the job I have
Teaching style workshops at my local church and community centers
These techniques are getting me one step closer to blogging full-time. Soon I’ll be bringing the Fab Glance lifestyle to you everyday! No matter what your side-hustle may be, make sure to partner with like-minded individuals who can inspire your ideas. It gets hard to be the only one in your crew who is working toward their dream job.
If you are a blogger, make sure to attend The Blogger Girls ‘Listen & Learn – Blogger Meet-Up‘! No matter what your blogger genre, you should be at this event. We are discussing the basics of branding, pitching, and networking. I can guarantee you’ll leave with some gems that will help you get closer to your dreams.
So, as I am pursuing my dreams, I’m praying for you as you attempt yours. Don’t feel bad if each day is a knock-out. Just connect with a creative friend and develop a new technique. I guarantee, you’re closer to your dream than you think!
Do you have a side-hustle? How do you balance your days? Let’s discuss it in the comments section!
I love partnering with other bloggers, especially Nashville bloggers. So, when Abbey, from The Perfect Little Life, contacted me to be featured on her blog I was so excited. Y’all, she follows me on snapchat and STILL thinks I’m worthy of a feature (b/c I’m crazy ridiculous on Snapchat).
So, go see my feature on The Perfect Little Life. I talk about my favorite snacks, my favorite quote, and even my favorite item of clothing. Then give Abbey a follow. Her blog celebrates all things great about bloggers, food, music, and travel! Trust, there’s something for everybody.
I get so excited when bloggers, businesses, and brands want to work with or feature me. As soon as I feel like I’m all alone, and no one is paying attention, one of these entities sends me a email! It makes my day feel that much better! This week I was featured on the site,Black Bloggers United. About BBU:
The Mission of Black Bloggers United is to be a community that highlights male and female black bloggers. We look to help all members grow their blogs, connect with members at local meetups, learn useful information about blogging and make many connections.
Having been in this blogging game for a LONG time, I’m always excited to see blogger collaborative organizations work to bridge the gaps in the community. It’s hard out here, especially when you realize you want to be a FULL-TIME blogger, you need all the inspiration and resources you can gather.
The folks at BBU asked me to share why I think it’s important to promote body-positivity on social media. Below, you’ll see my answer. I always strive to use my platform to encourage and inspire. I hope you do too! Make sure to follow Black Bloggers United on Instagram!