Sometime’s these #motivationmonday posts I read can make you feel guility, as if you aren’t doing ENOUGH! It’s all ‘GO GIRL’, #GirlBoss, and ‘work while your haters sleep’ or something of the sort. BUT, sometimes you need to take break!
I’m sorry (but not sorry) I haven’t written a new blog post in two weeks. I needed a break. Plus, I’m always telling my Blogger Baes to take breaks, but I never take a break. What kind of advice is that. But I’m back and I got a good topic this week: WEIGHT-LOSS!
I was scared to write this post because I’ve written this type of post about 50 times. It’s the post where I declare I’m gonna get fit (or snatched, steal-yo-daddy sized, skinny!). I’m scared to write this post because I’ve accomplished this goal a couple times and I’ve failed plenty more. I’m scared to start this journey again because I’m scared I’ll fail. But I’m tired of hoping to wake up smaller and more fit. I know I need to try again. I’m worth it.
As an adult, the smallest number I’ve seen on the scale was 297 lbs. Now, I know a couple of y’all edges just flew off because that’s still considered ‘big’. I mean, that’s bigger than some football players. But, the way my body (pear shaped) and my height (6ft tall) works, it looked GOOD. As a plus-sized woman and BLOGGER, I always feel pressure to talk about my weight. Either we should be talking about losing weight or talking about how happy we are to be big. What if you are stuck in the middle: a little bit happy, a little bit scared, and a little bit over-it in general? That’s me.
See, I’ve been a BIG GIRL all my life and I’ve never seen a day where I’ve been considered THIN or SKINNY. Came in this world at almost 10lbs and 21″. I was taller than most classmates AND teachers until high-school; thank God those boys started to grow! Then when I got to college, I actually lost a bunch of weight. I was poor, hungry, and I worked a lot. I came home and my family was so proud of my weight-loss – not much mention about those good grades (more on that later). Then I graduated and got a job: free corporate lunch and spending money. I got big again. Biggest I’d ever been (until now). To my luck, I found an amazing job at the YMCA. That job afforded me free gym membership and access to the internet. I was printing off recipes and working out five times a week, sometimes doing two-a-days. Girl, I was FIT!!!!! I could see two ab muscles!
Then, my grandma died, I started grad school, and I broke up with a long time ‘on again, off again’ boyfriend (This was the base of Jack & Ahlia‘s childhood story). I was stressed and crushed. I gained the weight back. Partly because grad school was so time consuming and I was, yet again, struggling with money. But, wanting to look good at graduation, I snapped back into gym life and lost a nice bit of weight.
Fast forward to now, Yup, I’m big again. I’m 5lbs bigger than I’ve ever been! Whew just typing that gave me the vapors. My clothes fit weird, my face is chunky, and wearing heels makes my knees hurt. In the past three years I’ve gone through a lot: death of a partner, leaving a job, horrendous money issues, loss of friends, and general depression. Still, I’ve taken these photos, wrote this blog, and posed for my life. Seriously, if it wasn’t for the blog and you guys, my readers, I’d be in a PIT of despair.
As the title states, I was scared to start again. Like really. For the most part, I’m a pretty confident girl, but even I can see the surprise on the faces of people who haven’t seen me in a long time. That, “you look nice, but wow you’re much bigger than I thought!” look. I saw it when i went home for Christmas. I saw it when I went to recent fashion event. I’m tired of seeing that face. I’m ready to be comfortable in my body. The only thing that helps is knowing, if I did it before, I can do it again.
I’m turning 40 in June. In my mind I want to take these epically gorgeous 40th Birthday Photos. Now, I know science and math, it’s just April, no way I’ll be at my goal weight by my birthday. But I want to walk into my birthday month feeling strong and consistent. I may be down 20lbs or just 10lbs. Either way, I’ll be back on the wagon and feeling better. I know I can do this!
Are you starting a weight loss, fitness, or health journey? Let me know how you feel about starting again. I’ll share updates on my socials and I may even bring back my YouTube channel! Either way, I’ll keep you posted. I’m not scared anymore!
Oh yeah, I already have my plan. I know what to eat and how to work out. Different plans work for different people. I know you want to leave your miracle plan in the comments but I’m GOOD on that. I’ve consulted my doctor and done my googles.
If you follow me on Instagram, @fabglance, you have been hearing me talk about how I’m overcoming the FEAR OF MISSING OUT – #FOMO.
Listen, at one time your girl was ALWAYS on the scene. Always. If something was happening, I was there. But after quitting my job last year, trying to find myself, having a bunch of fails, and eventually finding my way back to balancing working and blogging, I had a fear that people wouldn’t care about the FABGLANCE lifestyle anymore. I found myself looking at other people’s Instagram posts saying, “It should have been me!”
Then Jesus came for my neck and was like “GIRL, get your mind right! If it should have been you, it would have been you! Period.”
Fear of missing out or FoMO is “a pervasive apprehension that others might be having rewarding experiences from which one is absent”. This social anxiety is characterized by “a desire to stay continually connected with what others are doing”. (source)
I know I’m not the only person who has uttered the words, “It should have been me.” Once you set yourself on that road, you start comparing your gifts and abilities to someone else. And, girl, you about to head down a slippery slope. You’re about to head into the world of jealousy, anxiety, depression, and anger. In this world of social media and blogging (and just living life), it’s hard to NOT compare. It’s hard not being the first to know and the first on the scene.
Through meditation and prayer, I was able to figure out five reasons why you don’t need to have FOMO and it probably shouldn’t have been you in the first place. Let’s get it:
- You weren’t qualified – Oh, this is a hard one to swallow. But the reality is, if it was you, you would have been prepared. You may not be qualified to be in the position you seek. Not saying that you can’t get there tomorrow, next month, or next year, but TODAY, you don’t have the credentials. Get to work. Then you’ll see your name on the list.
- You were over-qualified – On the opposite, you are TOO qualified to be in the place you think you should be. Girl, you got TOO MUCH SAUCE! Being over-qualified can be a lonely road but you are on the right track. God is prepapring your to be bigger and better than you’ve ever imagined. However, preperation often happens in hidden spaces.
- That’s not your track – Oh, you wanna be OVER THERE, doing THAT? Sorry, that’s not your path and that’s not your lane. That is not where you are supposed to be. When you realize this, it’s time to reevaluate your plan and seek what truly matters. Sometimes when you THINK you are supposed to be in a spot, it’s really not for you. Yeah it looks fun, but it not for you.
- That’s not your tribe – Yeah, not to get all mystical magical, but those people you might be idolizing – that ain’t your tribe baby! I know you feel like they are the cool clique, I know. They are sparkly, they are fun, they look like they are supporting each other, but girl, it ain’t your tribe. Your tribe will come. It will. Also, you may have grow out of your tribe. Life is always moving and we must move with it, even if it means leaving your faves behind.
- God has a different plan – And this is the real deal. As a believer, I’m influenced by the bible and what it says for my life. Often, God has a totally different plan for you time and your talent! Let him guide your hustle. I swear you’ll find yourself in rooms that you only dreamed you’d be in.
Being the best is often a lonely road. You have to practice, research, and produce in spaces where you are alone. No one wants to watch you read 45 articles about “The hottest trends for Spring.” But when you get the call to be on that show where they need an expert, guess who’s ready! YOU! If you are in a lonely season and you feel like no one is calling your name, don’t fret. You aren’t missing out. You are being set up to be set apart.
Let me know, in the comments, if you’ve experienced a season like this? Let’s support each other!
Last week I hosted my very first book signing event for my book, Jack and Ahlia. Oh my, what an adventure! Of course everything that could go wrong, did (outfit change, mistaken haircut, books coming in late). BUT everything that could go right was MORE than perfect! From the location, to the treats, to everyone who brought a friend, I was overwhelmed with love and support!
White Bison Coffee was the spot for the event. The staff at White Bison was amazing! They made amazing treats and coffee drinks for all my guests. Seriously, White Bison is one of my FAVORITE new coffee spots in Nashville. Located in the newly updated Centennial industry area, you’ll get an amazing cup of coffee and delicious homemade treats.
After everyone had their treats and their book we held a Q&A about the characters and the story of Jack and Ahlia. Thank you to fellow blogger, Karla B (Your Truly, KB) for hosting the session. Y’all, she asked all the deep questions. She had me thinking about the themes of love, loss, and friendship (covered in the book). More than a romance novel, I wanted to discuss how/what causes people to make the decision to betray.
Then it was time to sign all the books! Listen, every since I was in the 7th grade I’ve wanted to write a book. My degree in English was obtained just so I could do it. I have to admit that fear caused me to pause my dream. But, no more. After completing this project, I’m ready to start the next book! I’m an author y’all and I’m not afraid to say it.
I guarantee, I’ll make my first million dollars from one of my books. I have so many amazing ideas floating around and I can’t wait to develop these new characters. I’m happy you guys are along for the ride. How many times can I say “Thank you!”? The limit does not exist!
Oh yeah, books are available on Amazon AND I have a couple books available that can be signed and sent out to you. Just send me an email and I got you!
Shout out to my vendors: Draping & Design – Exquisite Appeal, Food and Beverage – White Bison TN, Makeup – ShowMeYourTeeth, and Photography – Patrick Webster.
I wrote a book, y’all!
Purchase your copy of Jack and Ahlia today!
How do you produce amazing blogs when you have zero dollars in your bank account? Let’s talk about it! ‘I love us FOR REAL!’, but a lot of bloggers are BROKE. Don’t let these photos fool you. Sometimes, the blog barely gives you enough money for a cup of coffee. Below, I give you FIVE tips to help turn a profit, gain popularity, and not lose your mind in this #BloggerLife!
I’ve been blogging for almost 11 years and the number one question I receive is, “How do you make money by blogging?” I would love to fill the listener’s ear with stories about sponsored trips, mailboxes full of products, and closets filled with clothes. But truthfully it takes ALOT of hard work to get to that level.
Truth is, most bloggers make $3.50 a day! A recent survey of 1500 bloggers told the real story: 7% surveyed make $1000 – $10k a month, while 9% make over $10k but FAR less than a million (source). With more than THREE MILLION bloggers out there, you have to be really CONSISTENT to get to the top. Oh yeah, most bloggers have a FULL-TIME job (like me) and they blog! It’s tiring and It’s hella frustrating as you attempt to balance two lives while not comparing your blog to the girl who’s ‘not as cute as you’ but still posting pictures from Paris!
How much you could make would depend on several factors, including how often you blog, the quality of your content, how competitive your topic is, and how effective you are at building an audience and generating traffic. Plus a generous sprinkling of luck.
So let’s focus on the PLAN. Many think you need to have BIG BUCKS to create these gorgeous blog posts. And while that may be true, some practical techniques can get more eyes on your posts and more coins in your pockets. Let’s get started.
- Ask Questions, Make Friends, Join Groups – New blogger, new niche, or new routine? It’s time for you to ask questions and make friends. Before you write your first paragraph, identify bloggers in your niche. Send emails that ask SPECIFIC questions about growth and failures. Offer to buy them a cup of coffee for their time. Make friends with new bloggers, like you. Join blogging groups that discuss your frustrations. I gurantee these actions will help you save money in the LONG RUN. People are always eager to share stories of success and failure. Glean from them! BONUS: New blogger friends can be a source of sharing when it comes to equipment, photography, and ‘plus one’ invites to swanky activities.
- Teach Yourself – Yes, girl, USE THAT GOOGLE MACHINE! Before you could buy these blogging classes and online tutorials, you just had to RESEARCH. I taught my self some Level 1 coding, I taught myself how to use my iphone effectively, I taught myself how to edit photos, and even I taught myself how to do my make-up better. All by doing my googles and watching HOURS of YouTube! Whatever you are trying to learn, I gurantee theres a FREE way to figure it out. Then, revert back to step 1, ask a friend to help too.
- Join #TeamRepeat – When it comes to blogging, photos go a long way! Followers are visual and there’s no getting around the fact that you need photos for your blog. As a style blogger, I always feel ADDED pressure to give you the fashionable looks. When you are a NEW blogger, take a couple photos, and repeat them on your social media posts and EVEN your blog. The photos I’m using today, were used in a 2016 post about Nashville Fashion Week. Remember, everyday you are gaining new followers who have NEVER seen your photos or your posts. Repurpose previous photos, update older blogposts, and keep sharing links on social media.
- Write Guest Posts – Yes, want to get more eyes on your posts without spending money? Provide you blogging services to a business owner, family member, or fellow blogger. It’s a great way to make some quick cash and a way to promote your content. Also, as you practice your writing skills, it makes you more valuable to brands. They’ll know you are capable of writing great posts.
- Budget for your blog – As the saying goes, “you have to spend money to make money.” When I first started blogging, I spent way too much money too early in the game. When I revamped my blog, five years in, I set up a blog budget. I may not be able to afford my favorite photog for EVERY post, but I can save money to pay her for my most important posts. I may only have $50 to spend on my blog, I can buy new business cards or pay for my domain. Those are small money saving actions that can help you turn a major profit . . . in the long run.
- BONUS: MAKE A BLOGGING SCHEDULE AND STAY CONSISTENT! – even when I didn’t have fancy outfit of the day photos and I wasn’t getting invited to events. I still blogged FIVE DAYS A WEEK! The archives are there, take a look. I couldn’t afford Louboutin shoes (still can’t), but I did my googles, sourced some photos, did some research and wrote a post about Louboutin Shoes! That post got me invited to the Green Hills Nordstrom Grand Opening in 2011. If you are travel blogger, that can’t travel yet, write posts about your DREAM vacations. I’m telling you, it works. As I developed my niche and my interests, I posted less but with more intention. Still, my readers can expect at LEAST two posts a week. Try consistency before you spend a DIME!
You notice I didn’t talk about getting attention from brands. That’s a whole other topic that I’m STILL working on. But what’s the point of you EXPECTING a brand to use you, if you can’t build a following, write fresh stories, and use your resources? You worried about the wrong things!
If you can master the tips above, you’ll see your readership jump! Be more than a pretty face, help someone with your posts. Yes, girl, blogging is usually a hobby that turns into a passion project that CAN turn into a full time job. Blogging is frustrating, but if you stay consisitent, make friends, budget, and do your research, you’ll make it in the blogging game!
I believe in YOU! Did these tips help? Let me know in the comment section.
Also, wanna partner with me? CLICK HERE!
Hello March and Hello HUSTLE! It’s GO TIME on fabglance.com. It’s the beginning of HUSTLE SEASON! Spring brings warmer weather and more activities. Expect to see me out & about, selling books, getting fit, and prepping for summer! No more time for cozy night of ‘Netflix & Chill’, Cookies & Cozy, or Drinks & Distractions! I got places to go and people to see!
What’s going on with FabGlance in MARCH?
Well, over at Team Fabglance, it’s BOOK SELLING SEASON! I’d like to thank everyone for purchasing a copy of Jack and Ahlia! Sales are going great, but it’s time to KICK IT UP A NOTCH! Make sure to get you ticket for the official book signing event, MARCH 17th, at While Bison Coffee. Tickets are available on Eventbrite and include a copy of the book plus refreshments.
Oh yeah! For the month of MARCH, you can DOWNLOAD your copy of Jack and Ahlia for $0.99! Yup! OR if you buy the paperback ($9.99) on amazon, you get a digital download for FREE. It’s my way of making the book accessible for everyone. Oh yeah, I have a FIVE STAR rating on Amazon. *insert smile emoji*
Oh yeah, it’s FASHION SEASON in Nashville. With Nashville Fashion Week heading up the season, expect to see me at tons of fashion and festive events. You know I’ll take you with me. From art exhibits to movie premieres, expect to see me on the scene. Make sure to follow me on INSTAGRAM for all the details.
In addition to Nashville Fashion Week, I’m excited to be on the creative team for the Elegant Ladies Fashion Show 2018! You know this is one of my favorite events to work with because their show not only spotlights FASHION but dedicated money to scholarship for women going to college. Fashion & education! Yes!
Ok, I’m sure I’m missing out on some stuff. But those are big events in prepping for. Follow me on the socials -> @fabglance EVERYWHERE. Of course I’ll be hitting you with some #BloggerLife posts, some outfit inspo, and motivation. Thanks so much for rocking with me! Let’s impress ourselves this month!
Happy Valentine’s Day Fab Family!
Thank you so much for supporting my new book Jack and Ahlia! Your reviews have been fun to read and your social media shout-outs give me life!
Since it’s Valentine’s Day, I wanted to give you a gift for your support – a free download of Jack and Ahlia! For next 24hrs you can download my book, that has a FIVE STAR review in Amazon.
MORE JACK AND AHLIA NEWS!
On Saturday, Feb 17th, I’ll be joining the team at The Scenario Radio Show for their Valentine’s Day Show. We’ll be talking about CRUSHES! I know I’ve had more than enough crushes, some turned out good and some turned out bad. You can listen online at radiofreenashville.org on Saturday at 5p.
Lastly, I hope you’ve purchased your ticket to the OFFICIAL Jack and Ahlia Book-signing! Yes, I’m hosting a book-signing to discuss the book, sign copies, and network with the Fabglance family. Your ticket includes a signed book and delicious coffee and treats from White Bison Coffee. I cant wait to meet you!
Thank you for supporting! Have a great Valentine’s Day!
I’m excited to share this very special playlist with you! The Jack and Ahlia Playlist is the music I listened to which inspired each of the four main characters: Jack, Ahlia, Corey, and Jordan. You can listen to this playlist on Spotify and Tidal. It features amazing tracks from some of my favorite popular and indie artists including: SZA, Al Green, Method Man, Carl Thomas, Jeezy, Romen, and Daniel Ceasar.
When I quit my job, in the spring, I had a lot more time to be creative. So, I was cruising the online streets, I came across a writing challenge, #XD30 created by Blogger and Online Influence, Xavier D’Leau. XD hosts a writing challenge that’s as simple as it is difficult. Basically, you write everyday for 30 days. The simple part was to write WHATEVER you’d like: poem, sonnet, haiku, or short story. The difficult part was writing everyday – LAWD! But, I started the challenge and realized I missed writing fiction. That’s how the story of Jack and Ahlia was born.
I started with what I thought would be a short story, but it’s become an actual . . . novel. After 30 days, I was due to have a great work of fiction that explores the complicated relationship of Jack and Ahlia, Jack and Ahlia are best friends, sometimes lovers, business partners, and a complicated pair who may just destroy each other due to their fear and secrets.
Now, it’s a completed and available for purchase on Amazon. You can read a sample on my Tumblr account, but I guarantee you’ll want to purchase.
This motivation post should have went out on Monday, but it’s Tuesday and y’all will deal. Plus, y’all love me right? Right! I just wanted to tell you, “Thank You”, for being patient with me while I took a blogging break. Now on to today’s MOTIVATION.
Y’all, I took a break because my life totally changed in less than 48hrs! My new normal is waking up at 4:45am every weekday, turning in reports without error, and being a shining example of adulthood to a teenager. For an ultra chill person like myself, I don’t do well with rigidity. Let me tell you how I’ve spent so many years praying for God to magically fix the weak parts of my life, not knowing THIS situation is what he’d use to do it. Don’t ask for what you aren’t willing to work for. This is what I’m learning.