Oh, Kimmy Kakes! I was afraid this was going to happen when you started dating my best friend Kanye West. I was afraid you’d lose your sense of style trying to adhere to Kanye’s uber-cool/nonchalant way of dress. Kanye is going through this “i don’t care” phase right now. So while he’s historically a snazzy dresser, at this moment in time he could give two rat’s tails about what we think about his clothing choices.

Now Kim, I’ve always like your style. It’s very classy. You dress for your body type and you always wear the expensive brands with sophistication (because you’ve been rich all your life). So, what made you put on this awful get-up?

You repeated these boots – which I wouldn’t be mad about if the boots were actually fly. But, they are not fly. I don’t even want to talk about this dress. I’m sure it’s a designer, lord knows it’s God awful and ugly! It fits weird and the color is terrible. At the very least, you could have worn your hair down – geesh! So, Let me fix that for you!

So, if I were Kim Kardashian’s stylist, I would have kept her outfit, simple. We know that Kim has body that is AMAZING! However, she’s dating right now, wants to keep it fly, and doesn’t want to show off the goodies. So I put her in the Herve Leger bondage dress with fade detail. The fade design makes it look less like the classic Herve Leger that every reality star has in their closet and more like a one-of-a-kind orginal. Add to that a pair of Christian Dior nude patent pumps, a vintage Rolex watch, and bold navy blue nails. Oh yeah, keep the hair pulled back.

Now this is the Kim Kardashian I want to see as she roams the streets of Paris with her now boyfriend!