MY LIFE: Scared to start again

I’m sorry (but not sorry) I haven’t written a new blog post in two weeks. I needed a break. Plus, I’m always telling my Blogger Baes to take breaks, but I never take a break. What kind of advice is that. But I’m back and I got a good topic this week: WEIGHT-LOSS!

I was scared to write this post because I’ve written this type of post about 50 times. It’s the post where I declare I’m gonna get fit (or snatched, steal-yo-daddy sized, skinny!). I’m scared to write this post because I’ve accomplished this goal a couple times and I’ve failed plenty more. I’m scared to start this journey again because I’m scared I’ll fail. But I’m tired of hoping to wake up smaller and more fit. I know I need to try again. I’m worth it.

As an adult, the smallest number I’ve seen on the scale was 297 lbs. Now, I know a couple of y’all edges just flew off because that’s still considered ‘big’. I mean, that’s bigger than some football players. But, the way my body (pear shaped) and my height (6ft tall) works, it looked GOOD. As a plus-sized woman and BLOGGER, I always feel pressure to talk about my weight. Either we should be talking about losing weight or talking about how happy we are to be big. What if you are stuck in the middle: a little bit happy, a little bit scared, and a little bit over-it in general? That’s me.

See, I’ve been a BIG GIRL all my life and I’ve never seen a day where I’ve been considered THIN or SKINNY. Came in this world at almost 10lbs and 21″. I was taller than most classmates AND teachers until high-school; thank God those boys started to grow! Then when I got to college, I actually lost a bunch of weight. I was poor, hungry, and I worked a lot. I came home and my family was so proud of my weight-loss – not much mention about those good grades (more on that later). Then I graduated and got a job: free corporate lunch and spending money. I got big again. Biggest I’d ever been (until now). To my luck, I found an amazing job at the YMCA. That job afforded me free gym membership and access to the internet. I was printing off recipes and working out five times a week, sometimes doing two-a-days. Girl, I was FIT!!!!! I could see two ab muscles!

Y’all! Snatched!

Then, my grandma died, I started grad school, and I broke up with a long time ‘on again, off again’ boyfriend (This was the base of Jack & Ahlia‘s childhood story). I was stressed and crushed. I gained the weight back. Partly because grad school was so time consuming and I was, yet again, struggling with money. But, wanting to look good at graduation, I snapped back into gym life and lost a nice bit of weight.

Fast forward to now, Yup, I’m big again. I’m 5lbs bigger than I’ve ever been! Whew just typing that gave me the vapors. My clothes fit weird, my face is chunky, and wearing heels makes my knees hurt. In the past three years I’ve gone through a lot: death of a partner, leaving a job, horrendous money issues, loss of friends, and general depression. Still, I’ve taken these photos, wrote this blog, and posed for my life. Seriously, if it wasn’t for the blog and you guys, my readers, I’d be in a PIT of despair.

As the title states, I was scared to start again. Like really. For the most part, I’m a pretty confident girl, but even I can see the surprise on the faces of people who haven’t seen me in a long time. That, “you look nice, but wow you’re much bigger than I thought!” look. I saw it when i went home for Christmas. I saw it when I went to recent fashion event. I’m tired of seeing that face. I’m ready to be comfortable in my body. The only thing that helps is knowing, if I did it before, I can do it again.

I’m turning 40 in June. In my mind I want to take these epically gorgeous 40th Birthday Photos. Now, I know science and math, it’s just April, no way I’ll be at my goal weight by my birthday. But I want to walk into my birthday month feeling strong and consistent. I may be down 20lbs or just 10lbs. Either way, I’ll be back on the wagon and feeling better. I know I can do this!

Are you starting a weight loss, fitness, or health journey? Let me know how you feel about starting again. I’ll share updates on my socials and I may even bring back my YouTube channel! Either way, I’ll keep you posted. I’m not scared anymore!

Oh yeah, I already have my plan. I know what to eat and how to work out. Different plans work for different people. I know you want to leave your miracle plan in the comments but I’m GOOD on that. I’ve consulted my doctor and done my googles.

MOTIVATION: If it shoulda’ been you, it woulda’ been you!

If you follow me on Instagram, @fabglance, you have been hearing me talk about how I’m overcoming the FEAR OF MISSING OUT – #FOMO. Listen, at one time your girl was ALWAYS on the scene. Always. If something was happening, I was there. But after quitting my job last year, trying to find myself, having a bunch of fails, and eventually finding my way back to balancing working and blogging, I had a fear that people wouldn’t care about the FABGLANCE lifestyle anymore. I found myself looking at other people’s instagram posts saying, “It should have been me!”

Then Jesus came for my neck and was like “GIRL, get your mind right! If it should have been you, it would have been you! Period.

Fear of missing out or FoMO is “a pervasive apprehension that others might be having rewarding experiences from which one is absent”. This social anxiety is characterized by “a desire to stay continually connected with what others are doing”. (source)

I know I’m not the only person who has uttered the words, “It should have been me.” Once you set yourself on that road, you start comparing your gifts and abilities to someone else. And, girl, you about to head down a slippery slope. You about to head into the world of jealousy, anxiety, depression, and anger. In this world of social media and blogging (and just living life), it’s so hard to NOT compare and get mad about not being the first to know and the first on the scene.

Through meditation and prayer, I was able to figure out five reasons why you don’t need to have FOMO and it probably shouldn’t have been you in the first place. Let’s get it:

  1. You weren’t qualified – Oh, this is a hard one to swallow. But the reality is, if it was you, you would have been prepared. You may not be qualified to be in the position you seek. Not saying that you can’t get there tomorrow, next month, or next year, but TODAY, you don’t have the credentials. Get to work and see your name on the list.
  2. You were over-qualified – On the opposite, you are TOO qualified to be in the place you think you should be. Girl, you got TOO MUCH SAUCE! Being over-qualified can be a lonely road but you are on the right track to be bigger and better than you’ve ever imagined.
  3. That’s not your track – Oh, you wanna be OVER THERE, doing THAT? Hey, that’s not your path. That’s not your lane. That’s not where you are supposed to be. When you realize this, it’s time to reevaluate your plan and seek what truly matters. Sometimes when you THINK you are supposed to be in a spot, it’s really not for you. Yeah it looks fun, but it not for you.
  4. That’s not your tribe – Yeah, not to get all mystical magical, but those people you might be idolizing or you feel like they are the cool clique, that ain’t your tribe baby! I know. They are sparkly, they are fun, they look like they are supporting each other, but girl, it ain’t your tribe. Your tribe will come. It will. Also, you may grow outnof your tribe. Life is always moving and we must move with it, even if it means leaving your faves behind.
  5. God has a different plan – And this is the real deal. As a believer, I’m influenced by the bible and what it says for my life. Often, God has a totally different plan for you time and your talent! Let him guide your hustle. I swear you’ll find yourself in rooms that you only dreamed you’d be in.

Being the best is often a lonely road. You have to practice, research, and produce in spaces where you are alone. No one wants to watch you read 45 articles about “The hottest trends for Spring.” But when you get the call to be on that show where they need an expert, guess who’s ready! YOU! If you are in a lonely season and you feel like no one is calling your name, don’t fret. You aren’t missing out. You are being set up to be set apart.

Let me know, in the comments, if you’ve experienced a season like this? Let’s support each other!

WHAT TO WEAR to a Nashville Fashion Show – #SpringTrends

If you live in Nashville and you love fashion, then get ready for Nashville Fashion Week! Nashville Fashion Week kicks off Fashion Season in Nashville. From April 2nd until the beginning of June, you’ll see announcements for fashion events happening all around town. People are always surprised when I tell them that Nashville has a bustling fashion scene filled wit amazing designers, awesome businesses, and supportive fashion organizations. We are more than cowboy boots and sequins, although we do sometimes wear our cowboy boots with our sequins!

Now, if you are a Fab Glance reader, I know I’ll see you out & about at a fashion event this spring. If you are invited to a fashion event, I’m sure you are wondering “What to Wear?”. You know I got you! From fiercely extra to classically chic, these Spring 2018 trends will have you looking front row fly! Get into it:

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#WhatToWear: Fashion Show . . . FAB!

The first look is for the girl who never met a trend she couldn’t rock! Distressed Denim, Skinny Sunglasses, and logo-mania are all the rage this spring! The look I pulled mixes all these trends in a uniquely stylish way. People will have their eyes on you because you have an eye for trendy fashion!

#WhatToWear: Fashion Week Fab

Now, for my classic ladies out there (I’m raising my hand), this look is runway chic and classically fly. The trend? High Waist wide-leg pants and tassel earrings are the rage for spring 2018. Y’all know I’m fan of a good crop-top. My plan is to add more structured crops in my wardrobe this year and maybe rock this to the Elegant Ladies Fashion Show on April 7th. What about you?

#WhatToWear: Fashion Show . . . Classic!

Our last look is for that elegant affair you may be invited to attend. I selected this Jason Wu look as a nod to the Symphony Fashion Show coming up on April 17th. But you can surely wear it to Nashville Fashion Week too. The trend: Daringly Detailed Mules and embroidered accessories. Seriously, if you don’t have a pair of mules you are gonna feel so left out!

So, now that you are inspired to be front row ready, what event will you attend? And what look will you rock? Follow me on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter as I attend the seasons hottest fashion events! Say ‘hi’ when you see me, let take a picture!

MY LIFE: I hosted my first Book Signing event!

Last week I hosted my very first book signing event for my book, Jack and Ahlia. Oh my, what an adventure! Of course everything that could go wrong, did (outfit change, mistaken haircut, books coming in late). BUT everything that could go right was MORE than perfect! From the location, to the treats, to everyone who brought a friend, I was overwhelmed with love and support!

White Bison Coffee was the spot for the event. The staff at White Bison was amazing! They made amazing treats and coffee drinks for all my guests. Seriously, White Bison is one of my FAVORITE new coffee spots in Nashville. Located in the newly updated Centennial industry area, you’ll get an amazing cup of coffee and delicious homemade treats.

After everyone had their treats and their book we held a Q&A about the characters and the story of Jack and Ahlia. Thank you to fellow blogger, Karla B (Your Truly, KB) for hosting the session. Y’all, she asked all the deep questions. She had me thinking about the themes of love, loss, and friendship (covered in the book). More than a romance novel, I wanted to discuss how/what causes people to make the decision to betray.

Then it was time to sign all the books! Listen, every since I was in the 7th grade I’ve wanted to write a book. My degree in English was obtained just so I could do it. I have to admit that fear caused me to pause my dream. But, no more. After completing this project, I’m ready to start the next book! I’m an author y’all and I’m not afraid to say it.

I guarantee, I’ll make my first million dollars from one of my books. I have so many amazing ideas floating around and I can’t wait to develop these new characters. I’m happy you guys are along for the ride. How many times can I say “Thank you!”? The limit does not exist!

Oh yeah, books are available on Amazon AND I have a couple books available that can be signed and sent out to you. Just send me an email and I got you!

Shout out to my vendors: Draping & Design – Exquisite Appeal, Food and Beverage – White Bison TN, Makeup – ShowMeYourTeeth, and Photography – Patrick Webster.

I wrote a book, y’all!

Purchase your copy of Jack and Ahlia today!

MY LIFE: Athleisure feature in FABUPLUS Spring 2018

I’m so excited to have my first feature of 2018 in FabUPlus magazine! Yes! The team at FabUPlus contacted me about their Spring 2018 Issue, ‘Athleisure’ Story. Y’all know I’m the queen of sneakers and dresses! I was more than happy to supply the magazine with a photo in one of my fave looks:

This bomb body con dress & clutch from ASOS (2015) and one of my fave pairs of sneakers, the Airmax 90s are a GREAT example of rocking the ATHLEISURE trend. Seriously, this is my summer uniform and I’m not ashamed. As a matter of fact, let me stock up on more body con dresses for Summer 2018. I’ve already made a commitment to update my sneaker collection, can’t tell me nuthin. Athleisure is all about mixing the glam with the comfy! Can I be the formal representative of this campaign? Because I GET IT!

Anyway, when it comes to #Bloggerlife, this photo is an example of what I posted last week on Blogging While Broke – using photos repeatedly. This photo was taken back in 2015 (maybe 2014). Anyway, I was able to use it again for this story. Get all your money’s worth when hiring a photog. BLOGGER TIP: If the photo is awesome, your readers need to see it at least two times.

So, check out the Spring 2018 Issue of FabUPlus. Denise Mercedes is on the cover and the issue is all about plus-fitness. You can pick up a copy at Barnes & Noble and Books-A-Million!

Hello March, Hello Hustle!

Hello March and Hello HUSTLE! It’s GO TIME on fabglance.com. It’s the beginning of HUSTLE SEASON! Spring brings warmer weather and more activities. Expect to see me out & about, selling books, getting fit, and prepping for summer! No more time for cozy night of ‘Netflix & Chill’, Cookies & Cozy, or Drinks & Distractions! I got places to go and people to see!

What’s going on with FabGlance in MARCH?

Well, over at Team Fabglance, it’s BOOK SELLING SEASON! I’d like to thank everyone for purchasing a copy of Jack and Ahlia! Sales are going great, but it’s time to KICK IT UP A NOTCH! Make sure to get you ticket for the official book signing event, MARCH 17th, at While Bison Coffee. Tickets are available on Eventbrite and include a copy of the book plus refreshments.

Oh yeah! For the month of MARCH, you can DOWNLOAD your copy of Jack and Ahlia for $0.99! Yup! OR if you buy the paperback ($9.99) on amazon, you get a digital download for FREE. It’s my way of making the book accessible for everyone. Oh yeah, I have a FIVE STAR rating on Amazon. *insert smile emoji*

Oh yeah, it’s FASHION SEASON in Nashville. With Nashville Fashion Week heading up the season, expect to see me at tons of fashion and festive events. You know I’ll take you with me. From art exhibits to movie premieres, expect to see me on the scene. Make sure to follow me on INSTAGRAM for all the details.

In addition to Nashville Fashion Week, I’m excited to be on the creative team for the Elegant Ladies Fashion Show 2018! You know this is one of my favorite events to work with because their show not only spotlights FASHION but dedicated money to scholarship for women going to college. Fashion & education! Yes!

Ok, I’m sure I’m missing out on some stuff. But those are big events in prepping for. Follow me on the socials -> @fabglance EVERYWHERE. Of course I’ll be hitting you with some #BloggerLife posts, some outfit inspo, and motivation. Thanks so much for rocking with me! Let’s impress ourselves this month!

A fashionable brunch for Nashville Fashion Week 2018!

The 2nd annual Nashville Fashion Week Blogger Brunch was amazing! Thank you to the team at Nashville Fashion Week for asking me to co-host this event. I’m always excited to see my blogger baes out and about and for the start of the fashion season in the city. Let talk about what we did and what I wore:

Courtesy of the Thompson Nashville

The Blogger Brunch, held at the Thompson Hotel’s L.A. Jackson rooftop restaurant, was a great time to network, take photos, and learn more about what’s gonna happen at Nashville Fashion Week 2018. Seriously, make your way to this boutique hotel, the restuarants are so fly. It’s a bit of fancy right in the middle of the city.

Nashville Fashion Week, 2018, is gonna be pretty freaking amazing, so you better get your tickets soon. The best change is that the event will take place in one place, OZ Arts Nashville. This allows the team and production staff to transform the space into a different vibe, EVERY NIGHT. Also, it makes it easy on attendee: More accessible parking, location recognition, affordable pricing.

Also, I have to mention the increased DIVERSITY in the show. From designers, to models, to marketing, I see NFW really making an effort to include more people of color in the production. We know, black and brown people are underepresented in the fashion industry, so it’s always good to take note when postive changes are being made.

Shot by Searcy Studios

So, what did your girl wear? LISTEN! I had to stunt on them real quick with this embroidered a-line bomber from Eleven60. Y’all this jacket is amazing. I chose to wear it with an ivory body-con dress and sandals. This is the type of item that speaks for itself and needs no help!

Don’t ever doubt your iphone and a good editing app!

Y’all! Get into it! Seriously, I felt like a trendy princess. I loved the length too! Being 6ft tall, I barely get items that are as long as they are on the model. And the embroidery is to die for! So beautiful and so detailed.

All the blogger baes, shot by Searcy Studios

Once again, thank to the team at Nashville Fashion Week for inviting me to be a co-host for the annual Blogger Brunch. It was amazing to see all these hardworking & stylish individuals combine our powers for sartorial success and supporting Nashville’s independent fashion creators. We are officially in the mix for fashion season in Nashville. Get ready to see more coverage of Nashville Fashion Week pre-events. Hope to see you at the event!

 

(feature photo by Leah Harrington)

Nashville Celebrates Wakanda!

GAWD, PacFest, Fellavision, and The E.E.O.G. teamed up to bring Nashville the most immersive advanced screening of Marvel’s Black Panther. This Black Carpet event was complete with paparazzi and everyone SHOWED OUT in royal attire and melanin influenced t-shirts! I was so happy to be invited to cover the event, see the movie, and be immersed in amazing authentic blackness!

For my first viewing of Black Panther, I came in the style of the Black Panther Party of the 1960’s. Complete with my fave beret, black bodysuit, and amazing afro, I was ready to work the red carpet and enjoy the festivities. Listen y’all, I know the movie has already premiered, but don’t feel bad about dressing up for the event. Don’t be afraid to boast in your blackness.

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It was surely a homecoming!

I’ve never seen Opry Mills mall so black! When I walked into the theater it was like a family reunion. I didn’t know everyone, but it felt like we were apart of the same family. That’s the power of the Black Panther movie! It’s bringing people together through comics, great movie making, and amazing storytelling. I’ll spare you a long drawn-out thinkpiece. You can search the internet for more, check out Awesomely Luvvie’s post. But, girl it was SO good and I already saw it two times. In addition, it’s the FIFTH highest grossing movie EVER! EVER! Go see it!

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But, let’s get to the royal carpet event in Nashville. Y’all made me proud. The team at Black Antiquity made the event feel like a real affair! We took over three theaters, there were african drummers, and just a party atmosphere. I was proud to see everyone being happy. And we looked GOOD!

Look at all these amazing outfits, awesome tapestry, and colorful collections. From afro-futuristic and comic book inspired looks to traditional dresses every part of the diaspora and the interests of the Black Panther movie. Like I said, don’t stop dressing up to see the movie. It’s Black History month, let’s represent.

So, did you go see Black Panther? What did you think? What did you wear? Let me know in the comments!

Still need Black Panther outfit inspiration? Check out my post!

MY LIFE: Come to the ‘Jack and Ahlia’ book signing!

Shout out to the Fab Family for supporting my passion project, Jack and Ahlia. This book is one of the favorite things I’ve done, and I’m so excited to read all your reviews and see all your support! So, of course I have to host a book-signing event for my Nashville family! On March 17th, from 3p-6p, come out to White Bison Coffee Shop on 5202 Centennial Blvd in North Nashville!

CLICK HERE FOR TICKETS

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Yes, come out to my book signing event to listen to me read a couple passages from the book, talk about relationship topics (monogamy, cheating, and partnership), and network with other Jack and Ahlia fans! Oh yeah, White Bison Coffee has some AMAZING coffee & tea and awesome sandwiches & treats! You ticket includes these coffee and treats too!

Tickets are $15 to get a signed copy of the book AND you snack, $8 if you already have a copy but you want treats. I’m signing ALL the books and taking ALL the photos! I’m so excited to see everyone and hear your opinion about Jack and Ahlia’s relationship. Get your tickets today, limited seats available.

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For the month of MARCH, you can download The book for $0.99! Buy and/or download Jack and Ahlia on Amazon. Make sure to leave me FIVE STARS!

ALSO, listen to the Jack and Ahlia playlist on SPOTIFY and TIDAL! Yes, I curated a MOOD for y’all to get into the universe of Jack and Ahlia.

MY STYLE: ‘Come and Talk to Me’ -#JodeciAppreciationDay!

I know you see the date and, yes, I am posting this on Valentine’s Day. But, on fabglance.com it’s Jodeci Appreciation Day! About three years ago, I decided that the r&b group Jodeci should get way more love than we give them. I mean, if you were a black teen in the 90’s, did you NOT play ‘Forever My Lady‘ on insane levels? Did you NOT lose your biscuits when Diddy dropped the ‘Come and Talk to Me – Remix‘? And remember when a pregnant T-Boz (from TLC) made a cameo in the ‘Love You 4 Life‘ video? Ok! So, they deserve a day, and Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to show Jodeci some love!

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Top: Asos, Bra: Lane Bryant, Skirt: Torrid, and Shoes: Torrid (all old)

Last year’s #JodeciAppreciationDay song was, ‘My Heart Belongs to You‘. I dedicated it to all my Fab Family! I’m so happy to have readers and supporters who are interested in this #BloggerLife and support my endeavors. This year’s song selection is, ‘Come and Talk to Me’, and it’s dedicated to my crush. Y’all, I have a crush and it’s driving my banana-sandwich!

I’ve been watching you
For so very long
Trying to get my nerve built up to be so strong

I’ve never been very bold when it comes to love. I’ve never been afraid off a job, an idea, or even a clothing selection. But, ooh girl, bring up a love interest and I recoil like a scared turtle. It’s the fear of rejection that gets me! And, I know that we ALL get rejected sometimes, and ‘what God has for you is for you’. But, girl, listen, don’t nobody want to deal with a broken heart like that.

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But, my word for the year is ‘courage’, and sooner (rather than later) I will get the nerve to tell ol’boy my feelings. I mean, I’m a catch, I know this. I just have to get over the fear-factor. I could be missing out on the love of my life due to some temporary embarrasment! That would be crazy!

I wish I could grab you
Tell you what it means to me
To see you walking by my way
It really makes my day

This leads to a deeper conversation; what would you do if your weren’t afraid? I know this is a Valentine’s Day post, but it’s a word for everyone. Even those of you in relationships, are you holding back on loving your partner because of fear? You trying to take your situationship to the next level? You thinking about marriage? Or, are you ready to leave? What’s stopping you? Don’t let fear be the reason why you don’t succeed.

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Shot by Patrick Webster Photography

My friends, let’s all agree to live boldy! Go and talk to that person you’ve had your eye on. Go for that job you think you can’t get. Take a scary step in your life and watch your life change. Good or bad – you’ll always learn!

Song: ‘Come and Talk To Me‘ – Jodeci

Oh yeah, I’m giving away a free download of my bookJack and Ahlia, for the next 24hrs! Happy Valentine’s Day Fab Fam!