MOTIVATION: If it shoulda’ been you, it woulda’ been you!

If you follow me on Instagram, @fabglance, you have been hearing me talk about how I’m overcoming the FEAR OF MISSING OUT – #FOMO. Listen, at one time your girl was ALWAYS on the scene. Always. If something was happening, I was there. But after quitting my job last year, trying to find myself, having a bunch of fails, and eventually finding my way back to balancing working and blogging, I had a fear that people wouldn’t care about the FABGLANCE lifestyle anymore. I found myself looking at other people’s instagram posts saying, “It should have been me!”

Then Jesus came for my neck and was like “GIRL, get your mind right! If it should have been you, it would have been you! Period.

Fear of missing out or FoMO is “a pervasive apprehension that others might be having rewarding experiences from which one is absent”. This social anxiety is characterized by “a desire to stay continually connected with what others are doing”. (source)

I know I’m not the only person who has uttered the words, “It should have been me.” Once you set yourself on that road, you start comparing your gifts and abilities to someone else. And, girl, you about to head down a slippery slope. You about to head into the world of jealousy, anxiety, depression, and anger. In this world of social media and blogging (and just living life), it’s so hard to NOT compare and get mad about not being the first to know and the first on the scene.

Through meditation and prayer, I was able to figure out five reasons why you don’t need to have FOMO and it probably shouldn’t have been you in the first place. Let’s get it:

  1. You weren’t qualified – Oh, this is a hard one to swallow. But the reality is, if it was you, you would have been prepared. You may not be qualified to be in the position you seek. Not saying that you can’t get there tomorrow, next month, or next year, but TODAY, you don’t have the credentials. Get to work and see your name on the list.
  2. You were over-qualified – On the opposite, you are TOO qualified to be in the place you think you should be. Girl, you got TOO MUCH SAUCE! Being over-qualified can be a lonely road but you are on the right track to be bigger and better than you’ve ever imagined.
  3. That’s not your track – Oh, you wanna be OVER THERE, doing THAT? Hey, that’s not your path. That’s not your lane. That’s not where you are supposed to be. When you realize this, it’s time to reevaluate your plan and seek what truly matters. Sometimes when you THINK you are supposed to be in a spot, it’s really not for you. Yeah it looks fun, but it not for you.
  4. That’s not your tribe – Yeah, not to get all mystical magical, but those people you might be idolizing or you feel like they are the cool clique, that ain’t your tribe baby! I know. They are sparkly, they are fun, they look like they are supporting each other, but girl, it ain’t your tribe. Your tribe will come. It will. Also, you may grow outnof your tribe. Life is always moving and we must move with it, even if it means leaving your faves behind.
  5. God has a different plan – And this is the real deal. As a believer, I’m influenced by the bible and what it says for my life. Often, God has a totally different plan for you time and your talent! Let him guide your hustle. I swear you’ll find yourself in rooms that you only dreamed you’d be in.

Being the best is often a lonely road. You have to practice, research, and produce in spaces where you are alone. No one wants to watch you read 45 articles about “The hottest trends for Spring.” But when you get the call to be on that show where they need an expert, guess who’s ready! YOU! If you are in a lonely season and you feel like no one is calling your name, don’t fret. You aren’t missing out. You are being set up to be set apart.

Let me know, in the comments, if you’ve experienced a season like this? Let’s support each other!

MY LIFE: I hosted my first Book Signing event!

Last week I hosted my very first book signing event for my book, Jack and Ahlia. Oh my, what an adventure! Of course everything that could go wrong, did (outfit change, mistaken haircut, books coming in late). BUT everything that could go right was MORE than perfect! From the location, to the treats, to everyone who brought a friend, I was overwhelmed with love and support!

White Bison Coffee was the spot for the event. The staff at White Bison was amazing! They made amazing treats and coffee drinks for all my guests. Seriously, White Bison is one of my FAVORITE new coffee spots in Nashville. Located in the newly updated Centennial industry area, you’ll get an amazing cup of coffee and delicious homemade treats.

After everyone had their treats and their book we held a Q&A about the characters and the story of Jack and Ahlia. Thank you to fellow blogger, Karla B (Your Truly, KB) for hosting the session. Y’all, she asked all the deep questions. She had me thinking about the themes of love, loss, and friendship (covered in the book). More than a romance novel, I wanted to discuss how/what causes people to make the decision to betray.

Then it was time to sign all the books! Listen, every since I was in the 7th grade I’ve wanted to write a book. My degree in English was obtained just so I could do it. I have to admit that fear caused me to pause my dream. But, no more. After completing this project, I’m ready to start the next book! I’m an author y’all and I’m not afraid to say it.

I guarantee, I’ll make my first million dollars from one of my books. I have so many amazing ideas floating around and I can’t wait to develop these new characters. I’m happy you guys are along for the ride. How many times can I say “Thank you!”? The limit does not exist!

Oh yeah, books are available on Amazon AND I have a couple books available that can be signed and sent out to you. Just send me an email and I got you!

Shout out to my vendors: Draping & Design – Exquisite Appeal, Food and Beverage – White Bison TN, Makeup – ShowMeYourTeeth, and Photography – Patrick Webster.

I wrote a book, y’all!

Purchase your copy of Jack and Ahlia today!

#Bloggerlife: Blogging while BROKE!

How do you produce amazing blogs when you have zero dollars in your bank account? Let’s talk about it! ‘I love us FOR REAL!’, but a lot of bloggers are BROKE. Don’t let these photos fool you. Sometimes, the blog barely gives you enough money for a cup of coffee.  Below, I give you FIVE tips to help turn a profit, gain popularity, and not lose your mind in this #BloggerLife!

I’ve been blogging for almost 11 years and the number one question I receive is, “How do you make money by blogging?” I would love to fill the listener’s ear with stories about sponsored trips, mailboxes full of products, and closets filled with clothes. But truthfully it takes ALOT of hard work to get to that level.

Truth is, most bloggers make $3.50 a day! A recent survey of 1500 bloggers told the real story: 7% surveyed make $1000 – $10k a month, while 9% make over $10k but FAR less than a million (source). With more than THREE MILLION bloggers out there, you have to be really CONSISTENT to get to the top. Oh yeah, most bloggers have a FULL-TIME job (like me) and they blog! It’s tiring and It’s hella frustrating as you attempt to balance two lives while not comparing your blog to the girl who’s ‘not as cute as you’ but still posting pictures from Paris!

How much you could make would depend on several factors, including how often you blog, the quality of your content, how competitive your topic is, and how effective you are at building an audience and generating traffic. Plus a generous sprinkling of luck.

So let’s focus on the PLAN. Many think you need to have BIG BUCKS to create these gorgeous blog posts. And while that may be true, some practical techniques can get more eyes on your posts and more coins in your pockets. Let’s get started.

  • Ask Questions, Make Friends, Join Groups – New blogger, new niche, or new routine? It’s time for you to ask questions and make friends. Before you write your first paragraph, identify bloggers in your niche. Send emails that ask SPECIFIC questions about growth and failures. Offer to buy them a cup of coffee for their time. Make friends with new bloggers, like you. Join blogging groups that discuss your frustrations. I gurantee these actions will help you save money in the LONG RUN. People are always eager to share stories of success and failure. Glean from them! BONUS: New blogger friends can be a source of sharing when it comes to equipment, photography, and ‘plus one’ invites to swanky activities.
  • Teach Yourself – Yes, girl, USE THAT GOOGLE MACHINE! Before you could buy these blogging classes and online tutorials, you just had to RESEARCH. I taught my self some Level 1 coding, I taught myself how to use my iphone effectively, I taught myself how to edit photos, and even I taught myself how to do my make-up better. All by doing my googles and watching HOURS of YouTube! Whatever you are trying to learn, I gurantee theres a FREE way to figure it out. Then, revert back to step 1, ask a friend to help too.
  • Join #TeamRepeat – When it comes to blogging, photos go a long way! Followers are visual and there’s no getting around the fact that you need photos for your blog. As a style blogger, I always feel ADDED pressure to give you the fashionable looks. When you are a NEW blogger, take a couple photos, and repeat them on your social media posts and EVEN your blog. The photos I’m using today, were used in a 2016 post about Nashville Fashion Week. Remember, everyday you are gaining new followers who have NEVER seen your photos or your posts. Repurpose previous photos, update older blogposts, and keep sharing links on social media.
  • Write Guest Posts – Yes, want to get more eyes on your posts without spending money? Provide you blogging services to a business owner, family member, or fellow blogger. It’s a great way to make some quick cash and a way to promote your content. Also, as you practice your writing skills, it makes you more valuable to brands. They’ll know you are capable of writing great posts.
  • Budget for your blog – As the saying goes, “you have to spend money to make money.” When I first started blogging, I spent way too much money too early in the game. When I revamped my blog, five years in, I set up a blog budget. I may not be able to afford my favorite photog for EVERY post, but I can save money to pay her for my most important posts. I may only have $50 to spend on my blog, I can buy new business cards or pay for my domain. Those are small money saving actions that can help you turn a major profit . . . in the long run.
  • BONUS: MAKE A BLOGGING SCHEDULE AND STAY CONSISTENT! – even when I didn’t have fancy outfit of the day photos and I wasn’t getting invited to events. I still blogged FIVE DAYS A WEEK! The archives are there, take a look. I couldn’t afford Louboutin shoes (still can’t), but I did my googles, sourced some photos, did some research and wrote a post about Louboutin Shoes! That post got me invited to the Green Hills Nordstrom Grand Opening in 2011. If you are travel blogger, that can’t travel yet, write posts about your DREAM vacations. I’m telling you, it works. As I developed my niche and my interests, I posted less but with more intention. Still, my readers can expect at LEAST two posts a week. Try consistency before you spend a DIME!

You notice I didn’t talk about getting attention from brands. That’s a whole other topic that I’m STILL working on. But what’s the point of you EXPECTING a brand to use you, if you can’t build a following, write fresh stories, and use your resources? You worried about the wrong things!

If you can master the tips above, you’ll see your readership jump! Be more than a pretty face, help someone with your posts. Yes, girl, blogging is usually a hobby that turns into a passion project that CAN turn into a full time job. Blogging is frustrating, but if you stay consisitent, make friends, budget, and do your research, you’ll make it in the blogging game!

I believe in YOU! Did these tips help? Let me know in the comment section.

Also, wanna partner with me? CLICK HERE!

Hello March, Hello Hustle!

Hello March and Hello HUSTLE! It’s GO TIME on fabglance.com. It’s the beginning of HUSTLE SEASON! Spring brings warmer weather and more activities. Expect to see me out & about, selling books, getting fit, and prepping for summer! No more time for cozy night of ‘Netflix & Chill’, Cookies & Cozy, or Drinks & Distractions! I got places to go and people to see!

What’s going on with FabGlance in MARCH?

Well, over at Team Fabglance, it’s BOOK SELLING SEASON! I’d like to thank everyone for purchasing a copy of Jack and Ahlia! Sales are going great, but it’s time to KICK IT UP A NOTCH! Make sure to get you ticket for the official book signing event, MARCH 17th, at While Bison Coffee. Tickets are available on Eventbrite and include a copy of the book plus refreshments.

Oh yeah! For the month of MARCH, you can DOWNLOAD your copy of Jack and Ahlia for $0.99! Yup! OR if you buy the paperback ($9.99) on amazon, you get a digital download for FREE. It’s my way of making the book accessible for everyone. Oh yeah, I have a FIVE STAR rating on Amazon. *insert smile emoji*

Oh yeah, it’s FASHION SEASON in Nashville. With Nashville Fashion Week heading up the season, expect to see me at tons of fashion and festive events. You know I’ll take you with me. From art exhibits to movie premieres, expect to see me on the scene. Make sure to follow me on INSTAGRAM for all the details.

In addition to Nashville Fashion Week, I’m excited to be on the creative team for the Elegant Ladies Fashion Show 2018! You know this is one of my favorite events to work with because their show not only spotlights FASHION but dedicated money to scholarship for women going to college. Fashion & education! Yes!

Ok, I’m sure I’m missing out on some stuff. But those are big events in prepping for. Follow me on the socials -> @fabglance EVERYWHERE. Of course I’ll be hitting you with some #BloggerLife posts, some outfit inspo, and motivation. Thanks so much for rocking with me! Let’s impress ourselves this month!

MY STYLE: ‘Come and Talk to Me’ -#JodeciAppreciationDay!

I know you see the date and, yes, I am posting this on Valentine’s Day. But, on fabglance.com it’s Jodeci Appreciation Day! About three years ago, I decided that the r&b group Jodeci should get way more love than we give them. I mean, if you were a black teen in the 90’s, did you NOT play ‘Forever My Lady‘ on insane levels? Did you NOT lose your biscuits when Diddy dropped the ‘Come and Talk to Me – Remix‘? And remember when a pregnant T-Boz (from TLC) made a cameo in the ‘Love You 4 Life‘ video? Ok! So, they deserve a day, and Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to show Jodeci some love!

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Top: Asos, Bra: Lane Bryant, Skirt: Torrid, and Shoes: Torrid (all old)

Last year’s #JodeciAppreciationDay song was, ‘My Heart Belongs to You‘. I dedicated it to all my Fab Family! I’m so happy to have readers and supporters who are interested in this #BloggerLife and support my endeavors. This year’s song selection is, ‘Come and Talk to Me’, and it’s dedicated to my crush. Y’all, I have a crush and it’s driving my banana-sandwich!

I’ve been watching you
For so very long
Trying to get my nerve built up to be so strong

I’ve never been very bold when it comes to love. I’ve never been afraid off a job, an idea, or even a clothing selection. But, ooh girl, bring up a love interest and I recoil like a scared turtle. It’s the fear of rejection that gets me! And, I know that we ALL get rejected sometimes, and ‘what God has for you is for you’. But, girl, listen, don’t nobody want to deal with a broken heart like that.

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But, my word for the year is ‘courage’, and sooner (rather than later) I will get the nerve to tell ol’boy my feelings. I mean, I’m a catch, I know this. I just have to get over the fear-factor. I could be missing out on the love of my life due to some temporary embarrasment! That would be crazy!

I wish I could grab you
Tell you what it means to me
To see you walking by my way
It really makes my day

This leads to a deeper conversation; what would you do if your weren’t afraid? I know this is a Valentine’s Day post, but it’s a word for everyone. Even those of you in relationships, are you holding back on loving your partner because of fear? You trying to take your situationship to the next level? You thinking about marriage? Or, are you ready to leave? What’s stopping you? Don’t let fear be the reason why you don’t succeed.

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Shot by Patrick Webster Photography

My friends, let’s all agree to live boldy! Go and talk to that person you’ve had your eye on. Go for that job you think you can’t get. Take a scary step in your life and watch your life change. Good or bad – you’ll always learn!

Song: ‘Come and Talk To Me‘ – Jodeci

Oh yeah, I’m giving away a free download of my bookJack and Ahlia, for the next 24hrs! Happy Valentine’s Day Fab Fam!

MOTIVATION: When Instagram and Facebook aren’t enough …

Welcome to my NEW #Bloggerlife series! Every month I’ll discuss an issue effecting bloggers and online influencers. This month we are discussing the recent changes with Instagram and Facebook. I’ve been blogging for almost 10 years, and I’ve learned a thing or two. The biggest thing I’ve learned is how to roll with the changes on apps that we can’t control.

If you are a blogger about that LIFE, your goal is to use your influence to help your followers and make money. Increasingly, it seems like Facebook and Instagram are pushing against that goal. What used to seem easy, now feels like it requires an advanced knowledge of marketing, perfect timing, and many sleepless nights. I’m here to tell you, that while it will take a couple changes to your regular posting schedule, I’ve got FIVE alternative tips help you when Facebook and Instagram become too overwhelming.

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Yup, if you are an online influencer, you’ve heard the word ‘algorithm’ more times than you want to hear. Every three months, or so, Facebook and Instagram changes the way followers see the things we post. The biggest change in the last 30 days is Facebook moving to a ‘friends & family’ feed. Basically, all the ‘fake news’ that floated around during the election cycle proved to lower Facebook’s influence with followers, fans, and stakeholders. Since Facebook owns Instagram, your liable to see changes taking places on that platform too.

The infamous ‘algorithm’ of late 2016 hit. Facebook and Instagram limited your reach to 30% of your total follower count on average, allowed the algorithm to decide what content should be displayed in your feed, and Social Media was forever changed.- Keenan Beasley, Forbes Online

On top of the social platforms returning to a more ORGANIC timeline (yet, still not chronological), if you’re not a mega infleuncer with more than 10,000 followers, your posts being seen by less than 30% of your followers. Ever wonder why you followed someone dope, but after the first day you follow them, you never see them again? Yeah, blame the algorithm. The algorithm is set for you to interact, all the time, all day. It’s really hard to interact with all your faves when you follow a ton of people.

WHEW! So where does that leave a blogger like you, who just wants to get more readers on your posts. How can you get more EXPOSURE when you are promoting something you’ve worked hard on. I have five tips for you:

  1. Keep your website updated – I know so many bloggers who don’t BLOG anymore! I know we’ve gotten used to posting a pretty picture and walking away. But, if you’re hoping to get discovered by a brand, you need more to stand on than a couple like on Instagram and Facebook. Also, remember Vine? Yeah, it’s gone now! If those creators didn’t save those amazing micro-videos, their content is gone! But if you own your website, you have control over where it lives, when it’s posted, and how long it’s available for followers to see. Keep your website updated!
  2. Don’t doubt face-to-face networking – We’ve gotten SO used to the ease of online marketing, that we often forget about good ol’ face-to-face contact. Last week, I was invited to my friend’s work event. I’m an introvert, but I know when to turn it on when I need to. Anyway, a couple convos with the creator of the event, I was asked to do a short presentation about my book, Jack and Ahlia. Ended up selling some books and making a couple new contacts! Get yourself some business cards, take yourself to a networking event, and tell people about your blog!
  3. Work on a newsletter – Trying to get your work seen by more people, send your links directly to your followers via a newsletter. Many followers don’t jump on Facebook and Instagram as frequently as content creators. But, they ALWAYS check their email. Sending a newsletter to your followers, even once a month will help you see an increase in visits to your blog and your connected social platforms.
  4. Put some work into other social platforms: Not getting the love you deserve from Instagram and Facebook? You know Twitter, Tumblr, and Snapchat all exist! And, they are still chronological! That’s a whole new audience looking for content. Commit to a new platform, engage for about a week, and see your stats jump.
  5. Pay attention to what your followers like – If you are trying to be the best influencer in your city, your region, and hopefully your country, you have to be strategic. If you notice your followers like more of one type of content than the other, give them what they want. I’ve noticed that followers love when I posted photos of me wearing cute outfits, not so much if I post an abstract photo, so I gave them more outfit posts and less fluff.

It’s 2018, there’s enough eyes for all of us to get more eyes on our content. Stay consistent and creative and watch your numbers rise!

Follow me on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter.

MY STYLE: What’s next for 2018?

We are a couple days away from 2018. While I rock this gorgeous black dress from Eleven60, I thought it would be a good time to look forward for 2018. I’m a fan of a resolution. I don’t let haters distract me from making a goal for my life. Some goals, I hit, and some fall by the wayside. BUT, I tried and that’s more to say than the person laughing, while you are trying. Don’t be afraid to set a goal!

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Black Book‘ dress by Eleven60

Continue reading “MY STYLE: What’s next for 2018?”

STYLISH MOTIVATION: Spreading Christmas Cheer!

“The best way to spread Christmas Cheer, is singing loud for all to hear.” – Buddy the Elf

I’m Buddy the Elf, because I’m so hype to go home for Christmas. My WHOLE family will be in town. This is the first time most of us have been in the same city, at the same time, in a long time! It’s a Christmas Miracle! Get ready for snapchats and insta-stories filled with family shenanigans.

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Christmas is one of my favorite holidays, so I make sure celebrate with family and friends. This year has been tough, but it’s only made me stronger. No matter how tough the year has been, you must celebrate the fact that you MADE IT! You MADE it! Don’t worry about the bills, our what someone sad about you, or what you lost. Just celebrate the fact that you are stronger because of these challenges.

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Shirt – Amazon, Skirt – Charles Lord, Necklace – Charlotte Russe, and Shoes – Torrid

So, yes, we made it! It’s Christmas! Spread some Christmas cheer! Call a friend you haven’t called in a long time. Give a gift to someone who isn’t expecting it. Buy that plane ticket to surprise your family. Or, you know what, just get some rest. Cheer yourself up by chilling. Any way, have an amazing Holiday Season!

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Shot by Patrick Webster

Get ready for 2018! We don’t know what’s in store, but we know we are STRONG and we will make it! Thank you for following Fabglance. I hope I’ve inspired you to be better than you were before you read this post.

Merry Christmas!

MOTIVATION: When you pray for rain . . .

This motivation post should have went out on Monday, but it’s Tuesday and y’all will deal. Plus, y’all love me right? Right! I just wanted to tell you, “Thank You”, for being patient with me while I took a blogging break. Now on to today’s MOTIVATION.

Y’all, I took a break because my life totally changed in less than 48hrs! My new normal is waking up at 4:45am every weekday, turning in reports without error, and being a shining example of adulthood to a teenager. For an ultra chill person like myself, I don’t do well with rigidity. Let me tell you how I’ve spent so many years praying for God to magically fix the weak parts of my life, not knowing THIS situation is what he’d use to do it. Don’t ask for what you aren’t willing to work for. This is what I’m learning.

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What to do, when you’ve bitten more than you can chew?

Continue reading “MOTIVATION: When you pray for rain . . .”

Hello December! I barely made it!

Hello December! And hello FAB family! Thank you so much for being patient with me. I’ve had some major changes in my life so I had to step away for a moment. I’m still adjusting to my new work life and family upheaval, so I cant promise you new posts every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, but I can promise you some cool stuff at least one a week.

Now, I do have some cool stuff coming up! Your girl secured some brand partnerships that I’m sure your gonna love! Just let the contracts get signed and you’ll see the fruits of my labor. Oh yeah, I got some cool photo shoots in the bag too. And finally, the BOOK! The book is done and it will launch this month! Lawd!

Oh, yeah, it’s the holiday season! I’m feeling that Christmas-y but I must celebrate. I mean, it’s the most wonderful time of the year! And, things could be worse, right?

So, even though some things are still a bit wonky, I’m working through my challenges. I have faith that life is gonna get better and I’ll keep a smile on my face until that time!