I think my confidence levels are falling and I blame COVID. I’ve chosen to stay home as much as possible to help flatten the curve – it’s TOUGH! I currently work from home and tend to only leave my house once a week. I go to the grocery store, sometimes I go take photos for my social media & the blog, and very sparingly I’ll visit a friend for a porch hang.
Surviving as a single person during COVID is rough! This summer I’d planned to travel, shoot my Nashville Curves campaign, go to many brunches, maybe fall in love, etc. But the pandemic canceled all that. I’ve realized, while yes I’ve gotten a lot of work done, I don’t interact with people anymore. I was already an introvert, but whoa, this is next level.
CONFIDENCE: the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust
I noticed I’ve been having this nagging feeling that wasn’t quite anxiety and wasn’t quite fear but it was the feeling that something was missing. I’m starting to realize that without consistent human interaction, I’ve lost some of my confidence.
The alarming realization that a lot of my faith was attached to the faith I had in the world, shocked me. My belief had been that MOST people were good. But after six months of watching worldwide sickness, pain, suffering, and social injustice, my optimistic heart has taken a hit.
Staring at friends, family, and coworkers through the LCD glare of zoom conferences and FaceTime calls, while serving a purpose, creates this mechanical feeling of going through the motions. It’s hard to read body language through the screen. It’s even more difficult to feel sincerity when. You can’t quite lock eyes with your receiver.
But Melissa, I thought this was a motivational post? It is.
So what do we do when we feel this way? What have I been doing? Taking it one day at a time. So simple right? Well, no one is promised tomorrow. All we can do is live through today. When I feel like I’ve read one too many articles about COVID cases on the rise, I go through my list of Instagram comedians doing giving us 60 sec clips of funny (shout out Tony Baker and Desi Alexander).
I give myself daily reminders that far more people have made it through far worse. I literally count my blessings until I cannot remember the number (like I’ve been blessed to continue my day job while others were fired or furloughed). I remind myself that NONE of my family members have contracted COVID even though many are essential workers. And I thank GOD, for the many social justice warriors doing the work to balance the scales against racism, sexism, and capitalism.
If you’re reading this, you will have bad days. Especially during this year where NOTHING seems normal. But if you are reading this realize the amazing privilege you have to even hold your phone or scroll on your computer. Times are tough, but we are TOUGHER!